All month I’ve been looking forward to talking about SURRENDER.
I was eager to tie the spiritual practice of surrender into our continuing conversation about Abundance and Prosperity. It seemed perfect for where I’m at right now. I had smart-sounding notes, with a few snappy personal anecdotes, solidly anchored in the great wisdom of the ages… I was prepared for this blog and Sunday’s talk to just pour out of me unobstructed and brilliant and free.
This morning, though, as I tried to put my ideas into words, I found myself utterly stupefied. And for some reason it all felt especially high-pressured. I didn’t know what I was talking about. Everything I thought I was going to say sounded totally dumb. I worked myself into a near-panic before even getting out of bed — imagining myself first messing this up, which would obviously begin the total and irreversible unraveling of everything else I’ve hoped for the future — and my career, my relationships, my joy, my LIFE all would be basically ruined forever because I couldn’t get this right.
I do this every week, pretty much.
So far, such fears have proved overblown. All evidence indicates that I’ll do fine (at this, or that, or anything that I’m worrying about in any particular moment). And even if every blasted thing isn’t my all-time best, it’s really unlikely that it’s going to ruin my life. Still, the pressure – !
Why do we do this to ourselves? I expect I’m not alone in this.
I think part of it is that evolution has programmed us for survival. We’re wired to approach everything like a matter of life and death. This was very helpful for our species a million years ago. Even a few hundred years ago, for many people, making it through the winter was a genuinely risky proposition, so it was important to take things seriously. But for most of us now, most of the time, our lives are not really on the line. For most of us, most of the time, things are going to turn out fine.
I’m not saying that there aren’t high stakes issues, or that there aren’t matters to which it’s worth bringing the full force of our passion and energy and commitment. Of course there are. We’re called to bring it. That’s what we’re here for — to bring ourselves big and full and juicy. But if we’re bringing it in constant amped-up survival mode, with the weight of the entire world crushing our shoulders, terrified that one wrong step will be obliterating — oh my God I’m gonna die! — that’s exhausting and unsustainable.
And it’s kind of the opposite of SURRENDER.
I’m interested in surrender not as giving up, but rather giving ourselves into the flow of Life Itself. Allowing ourselves to feel a part of the Indomitable Infinite coursing through everything, including us. Practicing the faith that lets this Cosmic Current support and carry us along with the rest of the material Universe into everything yet to be.
Surrender can mean letting go of our relentless need to prove ourselves. It can mean remembering again and again that we’re here in our lives, as us, because we’re supposed to be. Surrender can mean simply allowing ourselves to be — surviving not because we’ve earned it but because life is our natural state.
I’m talking about surrender as joyful abandon into everything we already are — connected to It All, triumphant and magnificent, living embodiments of the Divine.
So let’s give it up for ourselves.
I can’t wait to be with you, friends. XO, Drew