I came across an article from a few years ago, by designer-writer-consultant Paul Jarvis. I saved this piece because it was provocative and challenging. I used to read Jarvis’s newsletters regularly for encouragement and advice about creativity and organizational leadership. He wrote a book called Company of One, which is about growth — both personal growth and the growth of creative enterprises — focusing on being better instead of bigger, being original and true rather than striving always after external validation. I find that very inspiring.

Anyway, in this article, he totally rails against affirmations. The very idea seems to piss him off.

He says that affirmations are counter-productive because they perpetuate an illusion that one has actually done something, that one has actually created something. But it’s really just kidding ourselves, he writes, because merely affirming a good is a far cry from really going out and getting it or making it.

I do get his point. Jarvis takes issue, particularly, with the blithe positivity of social media memes. Which, of course, sometimes sound pretty lame and naive in the face of serious issues and concerns. I often find myself impatient and frustrated when I encounter positivity that fails to go deeper than a bumper-sticker, when it seems to have little relationship to how one actually approaches life.

Then again, I don’t think this means that affirmation has to be just superficial. Right? Short and sweet doesn’t need to stop at inauthentic and banal.

I was a freshman in college when Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” topped the charts. I hated it. Hated it. At 19, I was at my most cynical and bitter and I thought: how dare he? It seemed insulting and dismissive and avoidant. And I held on to that attitude towards that particular song for over thirty years.

Now, though, as I think about it: not worrying and being happy sounds pretty darned good. If only I could… If only I knew how…

Here’s the thing: it’s gotta start somewhere. And affirmations, even the most simplistic ones, are a decent starting point. Maybe even a good or great starting point. Maybe they’re always the only way to start something new. I mean, we always begin with an attitude or a belief. And I’ve tried “Worry, Be Miserable” plenty of times with consistent, less-than-joyous results, so it’s pretty clear to me that negativity tends to lead to negative outcomes. Why wouldn’t it work in other, hopeful directions? Affirmations, spiritual principles, ideals — whatever you want to call them — can be tremendously creative as a beginning. As an opening, as a declaration of possibility.

For sure, affirmations can suck when we wield them like shields, using them to try to avoid real problems or to smother uncomfortable feelings. I don’t think it’s effective, at least not in the long term, to shout down our own or anyone else’s existential angst, or to try to disappear our troubles by pretending they don’t exist.

And neither am I really a proponent of the “fake it till you make it” approach, which is sometimes how affirmations get presented. Because if I know deep down that I’m faking, that feeds into all my imposter syndrome and self-doubt and yada yada yada, which is not very motivating or sustainable for me.

But if I can conceive of positive self-talk and affirmations as creative openings, as the beginning of something new where previously I saw no possibility, then I’m not faking anything. I am, rather, making it till I make it. Making it as I make it, starting now.

“Positive spin” usually sounds to me kind of like a con-job. Even if things are being spun with the best intentions — looking for the silver lining, making the best of a bad situation — it rings phony. Like lipstick on a pig, or whipped cream on a poop pancake. A limp attempt to cast a flattering light on something that in actuality leaves a lot to be desired. And affirmations, unfortunately, sometimes do stop there — as mere spin — if we don’t work with them, if we don’t breathe life into them.

But it needn’t be empty platitude. We can also think of “spin” as setting things in motion:
Like spinning a top.
Spinning like Shiva Nataraja, who dances the wheel of life.
And whirling dervishes spinning their connection and devotion and freedom.
Spinning the prayer wheels of Tibetan Buddhism.
Spinning galaxies and subatomic particles.
Spinning the luminous web of reality.
We are.

I can’t wait to be with you this Sunday, October 19, 10:00am at q-Staff Theatre. With the divine Patty Stephens. XO, Drew

©2025 Drew Groves